|
5 Leave
out needless words and phrases. |
|||
|
|
|||
|
Details |
Correct
Example |
||
|
a)
Trim excess wordiness, even if it is necessary to
combine sentences that contain similar material. |
One
of the things that I think is that Marie was the character that was the most
selfish of all the people in this whole story. (26 words) |
Marie was the most selfish character in this story. (9 words) |
|
|
b)
Don’t repeat the same information with different wording. |
I have an outfit that is
red, that is, it is mostly red. It is
red on the skirt and most of the blouse is red. (26 words) |
My skirt and blouse are
mostly red. (7 words) |
|
|
c)
Do not double the subject. |
My cousin Bill he
came over. |
My cousin Bill came
over. |
|
|
d)
Limit the number of prepositional
phrases in the sentence. |
Studies of the child in society in recent
years by professionals in the field of sociology in
the West show that the benefits
of raising of children by
parents who are married in a stable
household is great. (11 prep
phrases) |
Recent studies by Western sociologists agree that children
benefit from parents raising them in a stable household. (3 prep phrases) |
|
|
e)
Avoid a sentence pattern that unnecessarily repeats a subject-verb pair. This is true of almost every
sentence that begins with “there is” or “there was”. |
She is a person who is always on time. (9 words) There is
a special piece of equipment that we will need. (11 words) |
She always arrives on time. (5 words) We will need a special piece of equipment. (8 words) |
|
|
f)
Whenever possible, use single-word
verbs rather than verb phrases. |
The
janitor was beginning to be beating the rug. (9 words) |
The
janitor beat the rug. (5 words) |
|
|
Quotes |
|||
|
|
If it is possible to cut a
word out, always cut it out. George Orwell, “Six Rules” |
||
|
|
A sentence should contain
no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason
that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and machine no unnecessary
parts. Wm. Strunk & E.B.
White Elements of Style. |
||
|
|
I’ll
always take a plain sentence that’s clear over a pretty one that’s
unintelligible. Patricia T. O’Connor |
||