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S2 Leave
out needless words and phrases. |
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Correct
Examples |
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a) Trim excess wordiness, even
if it is necessary to combine sentences that contain similar material. |
One of the things that I think
is that Marie was the character that was the most selfish of all the people
in this whole story. (26 words) |
Marie was the
most selfish character in this story. (9 words) |
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b) Don’t repeat the same information with
different wording. |
I have an outfit that is red,
that is, it is mostly red. It is red
on the skirt and most of the blouse is red.
(26 words) |
My skirt and blouse are mostly red. (7 words) |
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c) Do not double the subject. |
My cousin Bill he came over. |
My cousin Bill came over. |
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d) Limit the number of prepositional
phrases in the sentence.
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Studies of the child in society in recent
years by professionals in the field of sociology in
the West show that the benefits
of raising of children by
parents who are married in a stable
household is great. (11 prep
phrases) |
Recent studies by Western sociologists agree that parents
raising children in a
stable, married household is beneficial. (2 prep phrases) |
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e) Avoid a sentence pattern that unnecessarily
repeats a subject-verb pair. This is true
of almost every sentence that begins with “there is” or “there was”. |
She is a person who is always on time. (9
words) There is a special piece of equipment
that we will need. (11 words) Prejudice is a thing that has happened throughout history. (8 words) |
She always arrives on time.
(5
words) We will need
a special piece of equipment. (8
words) Prejudice has happened throughout history. (5
words) |
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f) Whenever possible, use single-word verbs rather
than verb phrases. |
The janitor was beginning
to be beating the rug. (5 word verb
phrase) |
The janitor beat
the rug. (1 word verb) Or The janitor began to beat
the rug. (3 words in
verb phrase) |
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g) Avoid introductory words and phrases that add nothing
to the content of the sentence. |
Yes, a rose is red. |
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Well, a rose is red. |
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Now, a rose is red. |
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I think that a rose is
red. |
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Quotes |
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A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences,
for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and
machine no unnecessary parts. Wm. Strunk & E.B. White Elements of
Style. |
If it is possible to cut a
word out, always cut it out. George
Orwell, “Six Rules” |
I’ll
always take a plain sentence that’s clear over a pretty one that’s
unintelligible. Patricia T. O’Connor |
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